In an Instant...

(All my opinion....WARNING)

The phrase "in an instant" has almost gotten to be one of the most thought provoking and life changing phrases used in my life. Generally, the phrase is used around me or by me after something bad has happened. Eventually, after the event has occurred and the "in an instant" phrase starts popping up, somehow all my experiences all become connected, which leads to thoughts being provoked. Because the phrase usually "pops" up after something bad has happened, I try to redirect it towards something optimistic that can hopefully change or better my life.

For examples now. When I was 14, my brother and I were involved in a pretty serious car accident a few blocks from home. We were only traveling about 5 or 10 mph. The vehicle that hit us was at least twice as big and traveling at least 3 times as fast. The accident occurred because my brother made a decision to turn in front of this other vehicle. Normally, we would have completed the turn successfully and everyone would have went on their way without further incident. However, because the of my brother's decision to make the turn and the other driver's decision to be speeding, the results were not normal. The results are what I have come to term "minor catastrophic." We were hit head on. Earlier when we had got in the pick-up, we both made the decision not to wear seat belts. In an instant, my life was changed. No, we were not seriously injured. I carry a permanent scar on my right arm and occasional back pain has a result of my decision to not wear a seat belt and my brother's decision to make a turn. Nothing major. BUT in that instant, I knew that I would ALWAYS wear a seat belt while in a car and that I would always be super cautious before turning in front of someone. 2 changes that I believe have kept me safe since I was 14.

Next example. I am pretty sure I have talked about my dad's and brother's deaths before. I may start repeating. Both my dad and brother were killed in a car accident involving my dad's truck and a semi-truck in 2006. To this day, we still do not fully know what happened or why it happened. If we are to ever know, my dad can tell us in the next life. Regardless of why my dad did or did not do what he did, he pulled onto a highway in front of an oncoming semi. This wreck is what I have termed "extreme catastrophic." Yes, the accident was my dad's fault. Do I blame him? No. Do I blame God? No. Do I blame the semi driver? No. Have I ever questioned why? Yes. Have I ever found a solution? No. Because of my dad's decision, however or why ever he made it, my life was forever changed....in an instant. Again, I have come away from this "extremely catastrophic" event trying to be positive. I have tried to focus more fully on God's plan for us; I have tried to live more worthy of Temple blessings; I have tried not to take people in my life for granted; and I try REALLY hard to tell everyone that I love in my life, that I LOVE them every time I talk to them.

Another example. Yesterday Dale went 4-wheeling with the guys from church. One of the young guys, 19-years old, ended up wrecking the ATV and being severely injured. The doctors believe this young man will never walk again. There is speculation of what happened that I have heard from Dale and the other guys. I refuse to post any of it anywhere because it is not my place to tell. No one will actually ever know what happened unless this young man or his family decides to share it. But whatever actually happened, in an instant, this young man and his family's life has been and will be forever changed. I am still struggling with the optimism on this event. It is honestly too recent for me to know. I do know that ever since Dale got home and shared the details with me, he and I have thought about very little else. In an instant, Dale's life was changed too. He is struggling deeply with this accident.

Now to attempt to bring it all together. The experience with the young man has triggered a ward-wide prayer and service effort to help the family. There is not any hesitation. People just "leap" at the chance to help. Personally, it has triggered the long road of thoughts. I do not judge this young man. I am not saying the accident was his fault. BUT it, in fact, did happen. In an instant, everything is changed. All my increasingly overwhelming thoughts over this accident have lead me down the road of my dad and brother's accident and deaths. In an instant, everything was changed. In an instant, my "home" ward family was there lending service and helping. For 2 years, they willing helped and served.

From all this, starting at least from the time I was 14, I have learned not to ask why. Or if I do ask why, I have learned to quickly shove the thoughts from my head. They do no good. One of the hardest things, from my experience, to do is to not question an event, but except it and move on. Yes, "in an instant" can change everything in someone's life, but how a person chooses to let it affect them is what makes the difference.

I continue to pray for the young man and his family. I also continue to pray that Dale can deal with his emotions and "move" on. I also hope that with all the "in an instant" moments that occur in my life, I can choose to find the positive.