Gratitude...

Lately I have had a million things on my mind. I am not sure how all the thoughts are going to come out and "flow" in writing. I have been thinking about this particular post for nearly month--yeah, I know, I have way too much time on my hands! So, here is a little background for this post. 1) It is Thanksgiving season--the time to show our thanks and gratitude for things/people in our lives. 2) Memories--plain and simple. The two are kind of related in my mind and for the way that this post is hopefully going to flow.

So, pretty much the entire world is on Facebook now. I happen to really love my account. I spend a little too much time on it--I am sure. Anyway, for the month of November, there has been a "forward" going around on the status messages in Facebook. It has been a challenge for individuals to say one thing everyday that they are grateful for. I really thought that whoever in the world started this had a great idea. I, however, have not participated in it. But, it has lead me to think about things/people that I am grateful for in my life. Hence this post. So, here it goes, and hopefully, by the end of the post my thoughts will be somewhat clear (I doubt it, but oh well).

First, some things/people that I am grateful for in my life:

1. The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints, its teachings, and my membership therein. Members of the Church often say that they do not know where they would be without the Church and its teachings. I, however, have always said the opposite. I DO know where I would be without the Church. Where I would be without the Church and its teachings is a crossroad that I do not want to be on or travel. It is also a place that can be an entire blog entry in itself--so I leave it at that.
2. My husband. Many people have heard my story before. Many have not. Here is the brief summation. I met Dale at a time in my life when I did not care about guys...I know horrible, right? Anyway, I had gone through some pretty rough times in the dating world, and I was more or less burned. I knew that someday I would marry, but I didn't really care when and I definitely did not care about dating. I also met him right after my mother passed away (More on that later). Anyway, we have been through A LOT together and I am grateful that he puts up with all many faults and that he is my constant friend through life.
3. My son, RJ. Though there are days that he drives me literally insane, I would not give him up for anything in this world. I love waking up in the morning (though often WAY too early) to his chatter and smiley face. He is my little fireball of entertainment through the days and I am so grateful to see him grow and develop everyday.
4. Motherhood. I am deeply grateful that I can be a Mom. I know I am not a perfect Mom and there are days that I don't like being Mom (days filled with screaming, poopy diapers, and HUGE boogers), but I am so thankful that I can learn, grow, and progress by being a mom. Motherhood is indeed a divine calling or gift. I have been blessed.
5. My extended family. Though our numbers are diminishing rapidly over the years, I am so grateful for my grandparents, aunts, uncles, cousins, great aunts, great uncles, etc. I have a very small extended family in comparison to most people. And yet, there are distant cousins that I have not met and may never meet in this life. It saddens me that my connection to those great people has been lost at the moment. However, I am truly grateful for those family members that I do have and for the love they give to me and to my family. Their love is truly unconditional and I am so thankful for it in my life.
6. My material Earthly things. I know it may sound lame, but I am grateful for my car, my house, my WARM clothes, my dishwasher, my washing machine. These things are not entirely necessary in the grand spectrum, but my life is so much easier because of them.
7. The beautiful country that I live. I am so grateful that I live where I can enjoy the beautiful things--the rivers, the mountains, the ranches, the snow...The list can go on and on. I love the outdoors and all of Heavenly Father's wonderful creations.
8. My Friends. Words can not express my gratitude for the many friends that I have and the things that they each do for me. Everyone of them help strengthen, uplift, and help me in some way.
9. My immediate family. I realized at a relatively young age how short this mortal life can be. There were times growing up that I hated living where I lived and doing the things that I had to do. Looking back now, I am so grateful that I had parents that taught us how to work, how to save/budget, and how to have fun. My dad used to always tell us, "The family who works together, plays together." I know that there are several variations of that saying. This is just what worked for us. I am grateful for each of the lessons that my parents taught me in this life.
10. Finally, my memories. Sometimes my memories are all too consuming in my life. However, I am so grateful that I have all my memories--whether they are from Church, childhood, friends, family, etc. I am so glad that I can reflect on everything in my life and that I have so many great memories .

So, my final 2 gratitudes are specific to my final thoughts. Every Thanksgiving season brings with it memories of my family--specifically my mom. Therefore, I am always really deep in thought, sad, and contemplative during this season. The remainder of this post is going to be thoughts about my mom.

Connie Sue was born in Canon City, CO on August 24, 1957. She departed this mortal existence on November 15, 2004. She was only 47 years old. My purpose of this post is not to be "doomsday". My mother was an incredible lady and in her short 47 years on this Earth, she taught me many great things. She worked alongside my father every day to ensure that my brother and I had the things that we needed to survive our childhood. She was very active in every part of our life. She was in attendance at every school event or activity. During my early childhood days, she was my girl scout leader, my brother's cub scout leader, my dad's business partner, and so much more.

In early 1992, she was attending a Scout meeting for Cub Scouts. It was a meeting for all the leaders in the area. At that meeting, she met James. He was the Branch President of the local LDS Church. He was trying to get the Scouting program organized for the Church. He and my mother kinda hit it off. She was the Cub Scout leader for my brother's elementary school. Throughout the year, she and James met often. They discussed Church things and Scout things. To make a long story short, though not a member of the Church, James called my mom to be the Scoutmaster at the Church. In June 1993, my mom, dad, brother, and I were baptized.

Our conversion into the Church was not easy. My dad was not active. My mom struggled to teach us the Gospel at home. She loved the gospel and her faith was unwavering. I do not wish to have a billion page long post, so I am trying to get this out as briefly as possible. Let me try to conclude.

I love my mother deeply. I admire my mother deeply. I miss my mother deeply. She taught me to be the person I am today. She was the strongest person I knew. She was diagnosed with Lupus in December 2003. She continued to work full-time and do all her Church activities as well. She never really let on to anyone if she was in pain or if she needed help. I am so grateful and blessed to have the memories of my mother in my life.

I realize that this was long and very rambled. For the last month, I just really had all this on my mind. It seems like only yesterday that my mom and I were shopping and having lunch together. In reality, it has been 5 years. I hope that I can be as good of mom to my children as my mom was to my brother and I.