Today while attending my Sunday School class at church, the class discussed faith. The teacher began by asking us to think about a time in our life when faith has strengthened us or helped us. Or in other words he asked us to think of times when our faith has been an anchor in our lives.
When the teacher asked this question, my mind immediately went instantly to the "big" traumas of my life starting with my mom's death. I was "alone" in college. I was struggling-failing most classes. I was having stress issues at work. All of this among other personal challenges, and then I got the call from Memorial Hospital in Colorado Springs that Mom had died. It was 2 weeks before finals. Of course, at the time, the last thing on my mind was finals and school, but I obviously knew that I would be missing classes and I was struggling so hard as it was. My faith at this time kept me grounded and allowed me to keep life in perspective. I had the faith that everything at school and work would come together for the best and I KNEW without a doubt that my mom was happy and healthy and that we would all be together again. With that faith, I got through the funeral arrangements and funeral week, and went back to classes. I was blessed with very understanding professors that-though I was all but failing-told me to do the best I could and I would pass the courses. Granted, I passed that term with C-averages, but I pulled myself together with help from those professors and finished the courses "passing" and without taking incompletes.
The next instance was again a "big" trauma. The death of my dad and brother. When my mom died, I never questioned her passing. Would I have loved for her to have more time on Earth? Sure. I miss her every single day, but I know how sick she was and this life was no life for her to live. Through the pain, I could look at her passing as a blessing-especially to her. When my dad and brother were killed, it was the first time that I struggled with faith. It was a challenge. Their accident was a tragic and unexpected event. It took every ounce of faith that I possessed to NOT be bitter and to put ALL my trust in Heavenly Father and my Savior. I wanted to know why the accident happened. I wanted to know why they both had to die. I didn't want to be the sole Haas heir. I felt my life was in shambles. The only thing that got me through that experience and all the "life" events following it-school, estates, work, etc-was the faith and hope that I had in the plan of our Father in Heaven. After we arrived in my home town following the news, we stayed throughout the funeral week with my good friends The Halls. She was my young women president growing up. The morning after the accident and my family's deaths, Dale and Jan gave me a Priesthood Blessing. I admit 100% that I remember nothing from the blessing, but I do remember I felt calm and at peace that everything was as it should be and all things would be ok. That strengthened my faith.
The next instance that popped into my head was the passing of Ryan-again, another "big" event. I believe that I have shared enough of my experience throughout the last year that all readers have an understanding of my faith through this experience.
Anyway, back to Sunday School. A few class members shared some stories or examples. Some were huge events like trials or death and some were from missions. After all the discussion, the teacher quoted this beautiful and simple Children's Primary song, "Faith." Here are the words.
"Faith is knowing the sun will rise lighting each new day. Faith is knowing the Lord will hear my prayers each time I pray. Faith is like a little seed. If planted it will grow. Faith is a swelling within my heart, when I do right, I know. Faith is knowing I lived with God before my mortal birth. Faith is knowing I can return when my life ends on earth. Faith is trust in God above; in Christ, who showed the way. Faith is strengthened; I feel it grow, whenever I obey."
Throughout the rest of class and the final hour of church, I could not get these simple words out of my head. I came home and pondered them. I went to lay down to sleep and I was still thinking about them.
I have come to realize that the big trials or struggles do test our faith. At times, some trials or struggles may be given to us not only to test our faith but to strengthen it. Our weaknesses and trials can test our faith and make us humble which bring us closer to God. Despite all this, I was "awakened" during Sunday School yesterday to the realization that I take simple faith for granted. I do not spend enough time thinking "Faith is knowing the sun will rise lighting each new day..." I know that I have faith and I know that my faith has gotten me through pretty much everything in my life. However, I am grateful for a very insightful Sunday School teacher that pointed out the beauty of faith.
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