Thoughts

I have had a couple thoughts the past couple of days that I have not been sure if I should share. However, they have not left my mind, so I have decided to share them. These thoughts have stemmed from me reading a couple of my friends' blogs and from some other other things. So, I hope that I can get them all out.

First, an acquaintance has mentioned how hard it was for them to live here in Idaho and how no one liked them and on and on and on...She was venting and complaining about her time here and saying how grateful she was that they lived somewhere else. She mentioned that she went to an event with a lot of people but she felt all alone. Well, I had both a positive and negative reaction to that. I have lived here for 2 years and the first year of it was one of the hardest years of my life. Initially, I felt alone. We lived here with no kids, no family, and no friends. Often times I felt sorry for myself and was probably borderline depressed, without being depressed--I am sure it does not make sense, but that is the best way to describe it. Anyway, it took awhile to feel like we "fit" in, but it was not until I changed my perspective that I began to be happy and feel good again. So to my acquaintance I woud say-Sorry if you felt alone and if I was one to make you feel alone. But to this acquaintance I would also say that I felt "exiled" by you at first. Bottom line is, I think that we all have fears--mine is meeting new people--but in order to progress and be happy we have to overcome those fears.

Second, is closely related to the first. In fact, it is a continuation of the first. I would just like to say thank you to all the people who have extended a hand, a smile, or a kind word of friendship towards me the last 2 years. You will know who you are and I am grateful for you. You will never know how much you have helped me through a difficult time of my life.

Third, probably the most personal thought. This past Sunday our Sunday school lesson at Church was on eternal marriage and the Temples. I don't remember the teacher's question exactly, but it was more or less "What does your temple marriage mean to you?"--or something along those lines. I don't even remember the responses from the class. But, for me, the first thought that popped into my head, was Everything. Being able to enter the temple 4 years ago, has been the most important thing in my life. Because of my decision, I was able to perform my mother's temple work and have my father's and brother's temple work completed. After that, I was able to be sealed to them for eternity. And for me, that is the most important thing. I know that life is short. Heavenly Father has his own plan for us. We only know a portion of what that is. For me, the next life and the blessings that have been promised to us are the most important thing in my life. Please don't misunderstand. I love Dale and I love RJ. I now love my life and where we are at. But for those who don't understand how I can go on after experiencing so much pain and death in my life, the answer is simple. I know that I will see my family again.

So, I feel better now that I have my thoughts out.